How to Choose the Right Wedding Officiant: A Guide to Ceremony Styles, Key Inclusions & Questions to Ask

Ericka Matthews
May 1
3 min read

Your wedding officiant plays one of the most important roles on your big day. They're the person who officially unites you and your partner in marriage. But beyond the legalities, they help set the tone, reflect your values, and create a ceremony that feels truly you. Whether you're planning a religious service, a non-traditional celebration, or something in between, choosing the right officiant is a critical step in making your ceremony unforgettable.

What to Look for in a Wedding Officiant

Choosing the right officiant means finding someone who aligns with your vision, respects your beliefs, and has the presence and professionalism to lead one of the most meaningful moments of your life. Here are a few key traits to consider:

Personality Fit: Your officiant should feel like someone you connect with. They should make you feel comfortable, heard, and inspired.
Experience & Confidence: A seasoned officiant will handle logistics smoothly and keep the ceremony flowing, even if nerves or surprises arise.
Flexibility & Inclusivity: Look for someone open to customizing the ceremony to include personal vows, cultural traditions, or blended religious practices.
Tone & Style: Do you want a lighthearted ceremony? Formal and traditional? Romantic and poetic? Choose someone whose style matches yours.
Credentials: Make sure they are legally authorized to perform weddings in your location.

Types of Wedding Ceremony Styles

Every couple is different, and the ceremony should reflect your unique love story and values. Here are a few common styles to consider:

Religious: Follows traditional rituals from a specific faith. These often include readings, prayers, and formal vows.
Spiritual but Not Religious: Focuses on the emotional or soulful aspects of marriage, often without doctrine.
Civil: A legal, secular ceremony that is often short and to-the-point, typically led by a judge or justice of the peace.
Interfaith or Multicultural: Blends elements from two (or more) belief systems or cultures.
Non-Traditional or Personalized: Entirely custom, with original vows, storytelling, unity rituals (like sand or candle ceremonies), and symbolic readings.

What Should Be Included in the Ceremony?

A wedding ceremony doesn’t have to follow any strict format (unless you're following religious traditions), but here are some common elements to consider:

Welcome & Opening Words: Sets the tone and greets your guests.
Your Love Story or Reflections: Some officiants will personalize this part with anecdotes or quotes.
Readings or Music: You can include readings from literature, poetry, spiritual texts, or have a loved one perform a song.
Vows: Traditional or custom-written—your promise to one another.
Exchange of Rings: A classic symbolic gesture.
Unity Ceremony (Optional): Candles, sand, handfasting, wine blending, etc.
Pronouncement of Marriage: The iconic “I now pronounce you…” moment.
The Kiss & Recessional: Ending on a joyful note as you walk back down the aisle together.

Questions to Ask a Potential Wedding Officiant

When you meet with potential officiants, come prepared with a few thoughtful questions to ensure they’re a good fit. Here’s a list to get you started:

What is your ceremony style or tone?
Are you open to customizing the script and including personal elements?
Do you have sample ceremonies we can review?
Will you help us write or structure our vows?
Are you legally authorized to officiate weddings in our state?
Do you attend the rehearsal?
How many weddings have you officiated?
Do you charge a fee, and what does it include?
How do you handle last-minute emergencies or illness?
Can we see reviews or testimonials from past couples?

Final Thoughts

Your ceremony is the heart of your wedding day. It’s where you declare your love, share your values, and take your first steps into married life. The right officiant will not only guide you through this pivotal moment but will also help you feel grounded, celebrated, and seen. Take your time, ask the right questions, and trust your instincts.

Explore our officiant offerings to see if our style aligns with your vision for the ceremony.